Yesterday was week two of my weekly day of consecration for 2011.
Psalm 62 was my devotion.
1Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation.
2He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved.
3How long will ye imagine mischief against a man? ye shall be slain all of you: as a bowing wall shall ye be, and as a tottering fence.
4They only consult to cast him down from his excellency: they delight in lies: they bless with their mouth, but they curse inwardly. Selah.
5My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
6He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.
7In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
8Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
9Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity.
10Trust not in oppression, and become not vain in robbery: if riches increase, set not your heart upon them.
11God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God.
12Also unto thee, O Lord, belongeth mercy: for thou renderest to every man according to his work.
I remember writing about this chapter before. I often wonder how one moves from verse two to verse six. Verse two ends, with I shall not be greatly moved. Verse six ends with I shall not be moved. I need to get to verse six.
I am sometimes moved and bothered and irritated and hurt and angry over things that in the end are trivial and not worth it. I would love to reach the point in my walk were the little things (the little foxes that spoil the vines) didn’t bother me anymore. I want my light and love to shine continuously, and I admit I let little things bother me to the point that the luster in my shine is impacted.
As I was praying, I prayed about my relationships. I sense a change in some of my closer relationships. I am not sure if I am powerless to watch these changes or if I am supposed to fight to maintain them. It is a painful thing to feel/sense people moving away from you. I am asking God several questions. Are people moving away from me, or am I moving away from people. I understand that relationships evolve and change overtime. Maybe I am just more sensitive during this stage of my life and an overly sensitive to this change.
The main thing I am quickly realizing is that there is a battle. Things aren’t going to come easy. What I want, desire, and need are going to have to be fought for. There is a part of me that is tired of the fight and wishes things would come easier and smoother.
But alas, the battle wages, and I must fight.